Seven days ago I graduated from Cambridge and six days ago I
packed up my room and left college for the final time. In the rush of the final
few days there were so many people who I didn’t get to say goodbye to, some of
these people I will see again, others I won’t. Though not a love letter in the traditional sense, this is addressed with love and thanks to a great many people who have shared my time at Cambridge and who have touched my life. So this is my
proper goodbye.
There are a lot of different notions of what home is, but
for me it is clear. I have a happy family home which I was incredibly lucky to
have been born into, I’ve always been comfortable, but it’s never quite been
the place for me. Homerton and in a larger sense Cambridge has been everything
to me that a true intellectual, spiritual, social home should be. Unlike my family
home I was not born into Cambridge, or indeed with the odds in my favour of
getting there. But being a stubborn bitch I did, I built the foundations of
this home myself, and therefore I’m going to break with habit and say that I’m actually
terribly proud of myself.
Coincidence would have it that on this day five years ago I
had my Year 11 prom. Being a precocious 16 year-old, I of course thought that
this event marked the beginning of the rest of my life and that the me
presented on that day would be the me I would take forwards into the world – my
best self. Obviously I was an idiot. I was bitterly shy, unsure of myself, viewed
boys as another species, took a lot of shit, hated talking to strangers and
still thought I was going to be a vet. How times change. I realise that in another
five years time I might feel the same way about myself at graduation: a stupid
21 year-old, still precocious and perhaps overly optimistic. But what I can say
truthfully now that I couldn’t five years ago, is that I am closer to being the
woman I want to be than I ever thought possible. It doesn’t look exactly how I
thought it would, but the fact remains that I have reached a point where I know
that I’ve stopped wasting time feeling inferior, I’ve stopped being scared – I am
exactly who I want to be at this moment and that is thanks to a great many people.
Never before have I felt that I’ve had such a large safety
net of wonderful people ready to catch me should I fall. You are what made
Homerton and Cambridge my home; bizarre, nonsensical, loving, wise, stupid –
you have been the best friends and the best people I have ever known. You
taught me to be good, to be strong, to be weak when I had to be, never to settle,
to seize the day and most important of all to always know that I am never
alone. Without you I would not have come so far, not laughed so often, not
danced so ridiculously and not experienced my full capacity for happiness.
Thank you for being there and consenting to live as violently as I do – things were
never done by halves.
You have given me the best three years of my life, I love
you all. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
***
This list is not at all exhaustive but special thanks go out
to the following people. No matter how long or short our acquaintance, no
matter how long since we last spoke, you have been and still are important to
me.
Hollie Blockley, Luisa Callander, Phil Colbran, Ed Crowther,
Anton Evans, Callum Fleming, Andy Goodwin, Miranda Hewkin Smith, Nick Jones, Ruby
Keane, Jack Lawrence, Jo Lloyd, Libby Majumdar, Will Morris, Elena Natale, Geraint
Northwood-Smith, Alex OBT, Louise O’Neil, Eleni Pahita, Steve Pickman, Danielle
Poole, Isabel Power, Ria Sanders, Ben Spurgeon, Hanna Stephens, Nicky Watmore, James
White, Alex Wills, Sam Wiseman, Susanna Worth, Jenny Young.
I separate my English pals because they deserve a specific
thanks: I am convinced that it is because of you that my love for literature
has not died a painful death. Talking about literature with you has kept it
interesting and enjoyable – you saved me from becoming electively illiterate,
thank you.
Finn Brewer, Freddie Cooke, Bryony Glover, Kirstie Green,
Zoe Green, Lizzie Humberstone, Jen Hutchings, Lizzie Mahoney, Bryn Porter, Naomi
Pyburn, Flo Sagers, Miranda Slade, Jess Wing, Toby White
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